Kaiju Cocktail: Whisky Seesar
Ok, so here’s how I make what is basically a really lazy whisky sour, which is perfect for a brutish beast just coaxed from a long sleep. I recommend this if you are cheap, lazy, and like sour things (go figure).
- Whisky. The cheap stuff works just fine.
- Lemon juice. Again, generic brand is great.
- Ice cubes.
- Optional flavorings/garnishes. Some places recommend simple sugar (trying to make it on your own defeats the lazy bit), but I just dash in a little of the granulated stuff. I personally like to salt the rim of the glass as well, but your mileage may vary. Lemons or maraschino cherries can be added, but that’s stupid. JK do what you like.
- So, either in a tumbler (a TUMBLR!? HAHAHAHA OH GOSH) or in one of two glasses that can fit together tightly (my preferred method), pour how much whisky you want to drink.
- Add lemon juice. (I like to add about 150% as much lemon juice, but other places recommend less because they are nancies who can’t handle the sour. Be a King Seesar, not a King Geoffrey. But really, suit your tastes.) Also add simple sugar or whatever sweetener you decided on, you sweetie.
- Lock and load that tumblr or push your two glasses together nice and tight, and beat the shit out of that stuff. You want the ice cubes to pound the drink into oblivion as they hopefully crack into smaller pieces, churning some of the drink into a Santorum-like froth. (Google it)
- Pour into an appropriate glass—probably a cocktail glass, Holmes. Salt the rim if you’re a salty motherfucker like me and King Seesaw. Add your fruits if you must.
That’s it. You can tell I’m not a bartender. Anyway, enjoy a tasty sour beverage that’s actually a little bit good for you. Be aware that the lemon juice might, uh, flush out your system, so drink with caution if you’re trying to go home with someone or something.